Consultancy Center - Berkovitsa, 1 Atanas Kyurkchiev Str., Block "Kom", floor 0
Mrs. Lyudmila Filipova, director of the Consultancy center
Work time:
during the winter period (1st November to 31st March) Monday - Friday from 16:00 to 18:00
during the summer period (from 1st April to 31st October) Monday - Friday from 17:00 until 19:00
Phone: +359 890943741
e-mail: berkpro.robg@abv.bg
Consultancy Center - Craiova, 21 Jiețului Street,
in the building of the Library of Dolj County "Alexandru and Aristia Amman"
Mr. Lucian Dindirica - Director of the Consultancy Center
Work time:
Monday - Friday from 08:00 to 16:00
06.03.2025
5 PHRASES YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY IN FRONT OF YOUR BOSS
In two employees with approximately the same abilities, knowledge, experience, who put in similar efforts and achieve approximately the same results, self-confidence often turns out to be a decisive factor for promotion. The reason is the impression they make on the boss when they get their assignment.
It's clear that he doesn't like his subordinates grumbling "Ah, that can't be done" or complaining to him about how overworked they are. Lack of enthusiasm is not a good certificate and does not lead to career advancement.
However, the boss is also influenced by the degree of self-confidence he sees in the employee. Because he knows very well that it matters how a person is set up at the very beginning - whether for success or for failure. If, before starting a project, he believes he can, he is much more likely to do it than if he thinks he won't do the job effectively.
Therefore, self-confident people advance faster in the profession and climb higher in the service hierarchy. One reason is that they don't let anything stop them and are driven to achieve their goals. And the other is that they pass this on to their boss. He begins to think of them as employees who can handle anything.
In other words, if you seem insecure, annoyed, and hesitant when given an assignment, you're already scoring a minus. You may do a great job, achieve greater success than the manager expects. But no wonder he thinks that it happened due to a good combination of circumstances, and not thanks to your abilities and efforts. Your colleague, who immediately demonstrated self-confidence, has already been imprinted in the head of the boss as a person who knows what to do.
Career development professionals who have spent years studying successful leaders and employees say that at least 5-6 phrases are completely foreign to them. Everyone exudes a negative mindset. Several of them are a direct sign of hesitancy. In others, a lack of enthusiasm is evident, and the external or internal resistance so hated by any superior.
"It won't happen" you have the right to say only if you are ready to ironically motivate yourself why it won't happen. Otherwise, the boss will rightly think of you as a pessimist who is probably too lazy to work.
A variety is "It's impossible". Are you sure? Difficulties are challenges that a self-confident person is not afraid of, but finds a way to overcome. Yes, some things are truly impossible. But your boss is not incompetent and is aware that the task can be done. You are giving him a doubly bad impression, because not only do you sound like a pessimist who is probably too lazy to work, but you also make him look like a fool who wants some chimeras.
"I can't do it" means admitting that you don't have the necessary knowledge and abilities. If so, make an effort to acquire them. Otherwise, the boss, having heard this phrase several times, will be quite right to think about the dismissal, and not about your promotion.
You can say it only if it is really about something very complicated and difficult, for which you are 100% convinced that you are not up to it. And in this case, however, it's better to say "I'm not sure I'll be able to do it, but I'll try and do my best."
Personal and career development experts advise building your self-confidence by starting to say to yourself "I can do it" often. Over time, you will believe that you are capable of achieving anything you ask for. If you need proof to brag, make a list of things you've mastered and overcome. There are probably examples in your life that you can overcome any challenge.
For the boss, the phrase "I don't know how" is harmful. If you don't know how, find out. Find someone who knows to help you. The employee who deserves promotion believes that he must constantly improve himself, seek new knowledge and skills, because they are the way to achieve more. And this is his commitment and ambition. There's no point in bothering your boss that you don't know how to complete the task.
However, this does not mean that he does not ask questions to clarify what he should do. Only a fool does not ask when he has not understood the goal or needs to specify details about the methods of achieving it, say. But the boss is not your governess to lead you by the hand. Do not reveal to him what you do not know. And if it happens to be clear to you, say "I don't know how, but I will figure it out". This is exactly what a person who believes in his powers does.
It is not good to answer the initial question "Will you succeed" with "Do I have any other choice". This is reconciliation. Even when he is forced to accept a task that is not interesting to him or that overwhelms him, a self-confident person does not show resignation to his boss. He explains what it will cost him to succeed, and thus makes it clear that he is ready to make certain sacrifices, for which he expects a corresponding reward.
And don't say to yourself "I have no other choice". For a good professional with self-confidence, there are always opportunities, you have to look for them. By telling yourself that there isn't, you limit your own thinking.
No matter how you phrase your "That's not fair" thought in front of your boss, you'll still be wrong. Yes, he gives you another task, and you've had enough. But if you think you can't do them all well and on time, explain exactly that and motivate yourself why. Otherwise, you are telling your boss that he is not a good manager and cannot distribute work fairly.
You have no use for this confrontation once you take the task. You're just making a bad impression right from the start. Finally, even if you do better than your co-worker who didn't complain, your boss will probably prefer him for a promotion.
------- And the errors of the self-confident -------
They are mainly of two types, and while you don't make a bad impression on your boss with them, they hurt yourself.
One type of mistake involves the complete conviction that "It's done this way." It feeds your self-confidence. But it is possible that this conviction will play a bad joke on you. The more open your mind is to other ways, the more easily you accept the new, the more chances of success you have. Otherwise, you get stuck in a routine, you get stuck.
If you very often think that you know exactly how things are done and don't even consider that there could be a different way, your self-confidence has reached a level where it is already hurting you.
The second type of mistake comes from being overconfident in front of the boss when he gives you a task and he thinks you will handle it easily. True, you score a plus at the very beginning. But if you overdo the dose of self-confidence, he gets the impression that you do everything without effort, that you don't have enough work, that he can burden you more and more.
It is dangerous to appear to magically pull successes like a magician pulls rabbits out of his hat. It's to your advantage that the boss thinks that, yes, nothing really can stand against you, but it's because you work hard for him.
So find a way to let him know that you face problems that you overcome, that you have to come up with new things, even stay after hours, to get everything done in the best possible way.
For this purpose, it is wise to consult with him from time to time and show him that success does not fall from the sky. This will remind him that you are an employee who gives his best and is worthy of a promotion - in salary or in the hierarchy.
05.03.2025
A SCIENTIFIC ALGORITHM IN 6 STEPS TO DEAL WITH ANXIETY AND SUCCEED IN YOUR CAREER
38% of people in the world find a cause for strong anxiety every day. He is recognized in a large-scale sociological study.
Very often concerns are about work - a difficult task, a competitive market, unpleasant colleagues, a damn chief. Sometimes it is a little thing, but as the anxiety is constant, it increases the level of stress and destroys health. Otherwise, in principle, there are people in the world who always live carelessly, and never has any anxiety.
For dangerous constant anxiety, the real reason is that many do not set an end to their suffering, eliminating the problem that is its source. They are not masochists - few are the ones who love their constant state of self-pity. Most people just don't know how to act.
Scientists at the Australian National University say they have developed an algorithm that allows a person to cope with any anxiety. And to benefit from it by solving the problem of its benefit.
Because the great weakness of carefree people is that they prefer to ignore problems. Thus, they do not live in constant suffering caused by chronic anxiety. But they are not happy, because their problems exist and prevent them from achieving the best.
The algorithm of Australian scientists seems relatively simple because it includes only six consecutive steps. At first, they are really not complicated.
The most difficult in the algorithm is step 5 - it includes the so -called. SWOT analysis, popular technique for strategic business management. The abbreviation comes from the English words Strengths - strengths, pluses, Weaknesses - disadvantages, Opportunities - opportunities, Threats - dangers. When you look at each of the possible actions, you will decide which to choose in step 6.
It will be easier for you if you divide one sheet vertically into two for the analysis of each possible action. In one column one below the other, record the pros and capabilities, and against the other - the disadvantages and dangers.
If you are thinking calmly from 1 to 6, you will probably deal with the problem that causes you anxiety. This will always encourage you to use this algorithm.
After the first success, be sure to write down did you help yourself and how. This way you will gain experience and gradually get used to automatically thinking how to eliminate your worries.
If you fail the first time, do not be discouraged. Try again. There is no worse than constant anxiety. It can only get better by learning to deal with it, using it for your development.
27.02.2025
LISTENING AS SPIRITUAL HOSPITALITY IS A SPRINGBOARD FOR SUCCESS. EXERCISES TO LEARN IT
Can you listen? If your honest answer is "yes", then you are one of the lucky ones. From the rare breed of people who have this innately, or from those stubborn ones who have cultivated this quality in themselves. Because, if you will believe it, psychologists claim after a lot of research that only 10% of modern people know how to listen.
From modern humans, because the percentage has been decreasing in recent years. The old-fashioned upbringing of not interrupting your conversation is somehow dying out more and more. Today's life is so dynamic and there are so many distractions around that people lose both their patience and their ability to listen. Not out of disrespect to the interlocutor, but because they are in a hurry. Not out of lack of interest, but because the smartphone signals a new message that requires immediate attention. It might not be from the boss, but from Facebook. Social media is a form of noise and is full of people who want to talk to their friends, not talk to their friends.
"We simply live in a cacophony of urgent tasks overwhelming us like an avalanche and constantly inundated with signals, because of which we can no longer listen effectively and even change the very concept of listening. We don't listen to understand, we listen to respond", psychologists point out.
If you put your hand on your heart, you will admit that for months you do not remember a situation in your work where you listened calmly. In fact, you've mainly been looking for ways to step in to have your say—to express a judgment, ask a question, or steer the conversation in a more important direction. Even a friend at work, when she shares something, you wonder how to quickly interrupt with advice to check off that task as well.
"Listening is much more than letting someone speak while you wait for your chance to respond. The beauty of listening is that people begin to feel accepted. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become your friends." says Prof. Henry Nouen. And this is the foundation of trust that enables cooperation.
Therefore, if you learn to listen effectively, you help each other communicate and achieve your goals more easily. It sounds harsh, but think about it, when is it easier to agree with the person to whom you are offering something - if you interrupt him or if you patiently listen to him?
Also, as you listen to interrupt or respond, you understand less. Your very goal distracts you.
Psychologists believe that you can get into that 10% of people who can listen effectively if you practice. Practice creates all kinds of habits, listening is no exception.
You need a volunteer for your workouts, so get your spouse or if you have a teenager at home to join. It will also be useful for your partner - for his personal and professional development, even for peace at home.
The exercise only takes four minutes, but it will prepare you for what it feels like to listen actively so that you can apply it to your everyday relationships.
With the volunteer, face each other with no distractions around. You need a timer set to 2 minutes. If you're using a phone, keep it on airplane mode so it doesn't interrupt you at any time.
Ask a question. It can be quite simple, for example "What happened to you today". For two minutes, one of you will talk and the other will listen. Then you'll switch roles.
If you are the one listening, do not interfere at all during these two minutes. Don't interrupt, don't ask questions, don't make comments. The idea is to listen to the words for the sake of listening. You can only nod your head, make faces and gestures. (Don't turn driving into a circus, though.)
In the next two minutes, switch roles. It is more interesting for the previous listener to answer another question.
So you will gradually learn to listen patiently and understand more. You'll also get used to speaking more tightly, which is an added bonus. Because it's true that people don't have much time, and being too circumspect often causes even the most polite interlocutor to interrupt the speaker.
Agree with the volunteer in the exercise that he will really try to speak for two minutes. This will help you learn another skill - listening to both the words and the silence between them. Pauses often make a big difference to what your interlocutor says or doesn't say.
In these pauses, we can reflect on the meaning of what the other person has said, psychologists point out. Try to keep your brain from wandering in those moments of silence. And refrain from making use of them as soon as you begin to speak.
This way you will get used to tolerating the so-called "awkward silence". Very often, because you can't stand it, you can make a mistake. You did not hear everything your interlocutor had to say, and you made incorrect interpretations. Or he has deftly let you do the talking to reveal his intentions.
With enough practice, effective listening—i.e. the one where you want to understand what the interlocutor is telling you, and you don't listen just to answer him, will become a habit, experts assure.
The next step that will lead you to success in whatever you do is to learn when to speak, but as an element of listening, not to make your own shift or demands.
Speaking as an element of effective listening means that you are not a sponge that absorbs, but a springboard.
It sounds a little vague, but here's what the experts have in mind.
You have listened patiently and carefully, you now think you have got the main idea. Now you need to make your interlocutor feel understood in what he is saying, to raise his self-confidence. Ask him questions, ask for clarification. By giving him feedback, his speaking and your listening become even more effective.
A good listener listens without interrupting, but also identifies the right time to ask questions, experts summarize. And this you will learn by developing the exercise.
After you have listened for two minutes, go into question mode. Ask them and keep them relevant to help the conversation flow smoothly.
Then discuss with your interlocutor what you did well and where you need to work more.
After practicing with a volunteer, try it in real-world settings. Also make it a goal to have one conversation each day where you focus primarily on being a great listener.
It is not difficult at all to find a candidate to speak. For example, while drinking coffee with a colleague. The chances of you meeting one who doesn't think of herself as the most interesting subject of conversation on the planet are pretty slim.
In this conversation, make it your goal not to tell, but only to ask. This will force you to really listen to what the other person is saying and stay in a mode where you are not dominating the conversation.
The climax of the open ears, that is. of your effective listening is for your interlocutor to know about it.
Perhaps you are already eager to finish spiritual hospitality, as Prof. Henry Nouwen calls it, and reach your own goals. Well, you've been walking towards them all along, but you only have the third step of the exercise left.
The icing on the cake is finishing the listening stage strong. Be sure to mention how interesting you had it. Be specific to send the message that you really listened. Practice being short, clear, and polite without being pathetic.
With this final touch, you strengthen the interlocutor's trust in you. And now you can start talking about what you really want.
26.02.2025
SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN: BY WRITING 8 MINUTES BY HAND, YOU CALM DOWN AND MAKE A SMART DECISION
Pouring your feelings on the white sheet is not just a poetic phrase. Psychological research has proven that writing really helps to control emotions and lower anxiety.
When a person has a problem, failed in something or faces an important choice, he is worried. And it changes the brain. One of the most characteristic consequences is strong pessimism-everything looks worse than it really is. This prevents a real assessment of the situation and leads to incorrect solutions.
The most common is the negativity associated with errors, but it can be reduced by a few minutes of writing, says Hans Schroeder, a doctor of clinical psychology at the University of Michigan.
He presents the results of his research, which involved 40 students. They all had problems at the moment and showed high levels of anxiety. Schroeder divided them into two groups. People in one were asked to write a text to express their feelings. Students in the other group had to write an essay on an abstract topic.
After 8 minutes of writing, the participants held a game for a quick response. Those who pour their soul on paper showed much better results. They had mastered their anxiety and negativism. As a result, they made much less mistakes than the group that wrote an abstract essay.
Dr. Schroeder also proves with other experiments that writing releases the brain from concerns that disrupt productivity. "Anxiety absorbs cognitive resources. As we write our worries on a piece of paper, they already take up less space in the brain," the psychologist said.
Writing is the cheapest and most affordable treatment that you can help yourself when you are disturbed, commented James Penbaker, a psychologist at the University of Texas. By expressing your emotions, you seem to throw them away and make sense of them. This helps to suppress the feeling of threat and reduce pessimism. When a person is obsessed with anxiety, one cannot pay attention to other information. If he is able to reduce the time he deals with this anxiety and breaks away from him, he will be able to think more clearly and make better decisions, explains James Penbaker how writing purifies the so-called Working memory.
One of the interesting effects found in the studies is that anxiety is removed faster when a person writes by hand rather than on the computer or phone screen. Even if you pour the same feelings, it matters the purely technical way you do it.
Probably the reason is in the special brain connection. Writing triggers the area called a reticular activation system that blocks the processing of side information. When writing the letters with a pen or pencil on paper, the brain focuses because the hand performs more movements. And writing a computer is monotonous - every time you just have to press a key, says Virginia Bеrginger, a psychologist at the University of Washington.
20.02.2025
THE BUSY SYNDROME - THEY FORGET WHAT THEY ATE TODAY. AND HOW TO OVERCOME IT
You read a document, everything is fine with it, you put it aside. You move on to the next one. After 5 minutes you no longer remember what you read in the first paper. It often happens to you in a conversation that the name of a person that you supposedly know very well escapes you. What did you eat today? Aha, straining you know.
You start to worry that you are rapidly progressing towards multiple sclerosis, dementia, Alzheimer's and various other scary diseases.
You are more likely to suffer from busy people's syndrome - short-term memory loss.
Believe it or not, but research shows that overworked 30-40 year olds forget more than 70 year old retirees.
It is true that memory weakens with age, but especially short-term memory, and at 30-40 it begins to shut down when the brain is overloaded with mental work.
Specialists in dementology say that the first symptoms of serious diseases such as Alzheimer's, for example, are not breakthroughs in memory for recent events and forgetfulness of the type "doesn't remember what he had for lunch", but a reduced ability of the brain to process information from the surrounding world in an unfamiliar environment and to makes decisions.
With "don't remember what you had for lunch" forgetting, the brain of over-busy people simply protects itself from overheating by pushing into the background things it deems unimportant at the moment. Or he directly rejects what he thinks he doesn't need to keep at all.
In fact, it is possible that you yourself are preventing him from keeping it, because you are not focusing on just one thing. Something else is constantly running in your head in the background and subconsciously distracting you. Setting a priority and focusing on it is a way to improve short-term memory.
But according to scientific research, you can help yourself in a little strange ways - moving something on your head or your hands. It's not entirely clear why, but experiments have proven the benefits of chewing and rolling your eyes.
By chewing gum while you work, you remember better and have more accurate reactions. Moving the jaw increases activity in the hippocampus, that important part of the brain responsible for memory. A study conducted in the UK found that people who chewed gum showed 24% higher scores on immediate word recall tests.
Move your eyes and you will also stimulate your memory. It should be the horizontal left and right. Only the eyes, no head movement. This movement is believed to help connect the two hemispheres of the brain.
Clench your fists and you'll remember. Scientists advise making a fist with your leading hand - usually the right hand - to remember. And when you want to remember, you clench your other fist. You need to keep the corresponding fist clenched for about 45 seconds. Thus, you activate areas of the brain associated with memory.
Maybe you won't make a good impression on people who don't know what it's about, but at a meeting, feel free to scribble on your notebook. Multiple studies show that it helps you stay focused, understand what's being said, and retain information.
According to an ancient Japanese self-relaxation technique, you will refresh your brain by massaging the 5 fingers of your hands. They are connected to centers in him and their stimulation gives him energy. Simply rub for about 30 seconds on each finger, starting with the thumb and ending with the little finger. It will take you 5 minutes for both hands. No time, great benefit, assure fans of Eastern practices.
Also, laugh. According to studies, laughter greatly improves short-term memory, but it is not related to the movement of facial muscles, but to hormones. When you laugh, your cortisol level rises. It reduces stress, which greatly impairs short-term memory.
Be careful how you sit. By being comfortably reclined but upright, you'll remember more of what you read or write. It is clear why it happens - this pose stimulates blood circulation.
Learning to meditate is more complicated. This Eastern practice significantly increases blood circulation in the brain and multiplies memory storage mechanisms. Experiments by scientists from Harvard Medical School prove with research that people who meditate regularly have more control over the so-called alpha rhythm. It's a brainwave that's thought to filter out everyday distractions and allow more important things to be better processed. According to experiments with regular meditation you will improve your memory in just 8 weeks.
It's simple to try one other recommendation - wander around for a while. I.e. to stop working and thinking to rest. Let your mind wander to whatever it wants. This leads to memory consolidation. It also supports creative thinking. Non-linear connections are formed in the brain, which develops its ability to divide the problem into parts and approach them from a new angle.
It has been experimentally determined that you will do best if, while your mind is floating, you walk. You can walk in the office, but still better outdoors.
Dr. Marilyn Opezzo's research team at the University of Santa Clara, California, conducted a series of experiments in which they subjected volunteers to various creativity tests. In one, they participated in associative games while walking. With others, they did the same, but in a sitting position.
The best results were achieved by people who were allowed to walk, whether outdoors or indoors. The benefits of the walks remained even after the employees sat down in the office - they showed higher creativity than those who sat behind their desks all the time.
Scientists admit that they have no explanation why walking, ie. low-intensity physical activity, even indoors, has a positive effect on creative thinking. But this effect on the human brain is certain, use it.
-------------- And more tricks -------------
For busy people, their salvation is in order. By keeping this expert tip in mind, you'll cause yourself significantly less stress with the regular "Where did I leave my keys" question. Just get used to leaving your belongings in strictly designated places so you don't have to look for them.
Of course, this goes for the papers on your desk and all the things you work with. But experts say that people worry more about their memory in relation to various household items.
By not remembering where your keys or glasses are in the morning, in addition to wasting time looking for them, you are doing two other very bad things to yourself. Stress makes your short-term memory more erratic and ineffective for a while. Second, once again the thought comes to you: "Here is another proof that I have multiple sclerosis". It's unpleasant, it stays in your mind, and while it's bothering you, you won't remember anything you do. For example, how you got to the car, the bus stop or even to the place where you work.
Always arrange your tasks for the next day at the end of the previous one or at least from the morning. If you take a minute to think about and group them, then your short-term memory will be much more helpful.
How does this happen? Remember several things by combining them with a meaningful connection. For example, everything you need to do at a certain time - before the meeting, in a certain place - accounting, with a certain person. This will help you streamline activities and reduce the likelihood of forgetting something.
It's not a bad option not to struggle to remember, but to make a good old to-do list. No longer on paper, but in the smartphone. It can also send a reminder not to miss a certain class.
The very fact that you take these precautions is good for your short-term memory because you don't have to worry about forgetting something. You overcome self-doubt, you gain confidence, and a positive attitude significantly improves your brain activity in all respects, explains Nia Jones, a psychologist and specialist in mental disorders.
CUNNING PHRASES TO TELL A COLLEAGUE THAT HE IS A SPAGIL
A colleague sends information about a project that the whole team will work on. You have to discuss it at a meeting and decide how to act. You notice a mistake in it. Not a minor detail, but a big mistake that threatens to fail the whole project.
Should you silence her without being your job to repair it? To be responsible for a colleague. Notice her boss, who should be competent enough. These are all the right justifications to get out.
Yes, but the mistake can cost the whole team, including you personally, efforts in the wrong direction and ultimately failure of the project. Therefore, you have to say the bad news of your colleague - that he is a splash.
This must happen before the meeting and four eyes. Still, it's not easy, because your colleague may appreciate your help, but it will be uncomfortable.
Janel Anderson, a communication expert, advises how to have this conversation more painlessly. There are several phrases that you can use to direct your colleague in the right direction without drawing his anger or insult.
"Maybe you take another look at this" is a good start. In this way, you show him that you are both collaborating to achieve the best possible result. At the same time, you turn his attention to a specific thing that needs to be smooth. This is how you allow him to find and correct his mistake without having to criticize him.
If he asks you why to look another look, you can tell him straight that your information seems inaccurate. If he is a good professional, he will check it before the meeting or he will tell about the correction.
If you do not, and you are sure that there is really a mistake, you are completely free to correct it publicly. You did as a good colleague and warned him. You should not wash the bluff under the carpet as soon as it can lead to failure for the whole team.
Your colleague may immediately see the mistake and thank you. But no matter how respectful you are, you are actually criticizing it. One often accepts negative feedback as a personal attack against himself and his work. Therefore, you should quickly soften the criticism and place yourself in a group with your colleague. You can say "and it happened to me." This is how you sound supportive.
"This helps to put your interlocutor in a less vulnerable position because you yourself look not so authoritative. One kind of saying," Allow me to help you learn from my mistakes, "Anderson explains." If you want to raise this phrase By the next level, offer tips and techniques you used to correct your mistake."
You can also choose a more direct approach to tell someone that they have been wrong. If you are talking to a more inexperienced or a close enough colleague, it is a good phrase "This should be corrected. How can I help you?" This is how you point out what to do, you offer him support and you do not condemn him.
"When the situation reaches the point where one realizes one's mistake and starts to behave defensively, I advise you to forget about all personal pronouns," Anderson points out. "When you remove the indictment from your utterance, you redirect the work that you need to be done instead of on the personal mistakes and shortcomings of the particular person."
This in the first sentence. In the second, you ask your colleague how you can help him and even emphasize the personal pronoun "I help you". Whether it will accept your proposal or solve the problem alone, it will not forget about the outstretched arm.
"The common thing between the three phrases is that you will be both kind and friendly and purposeful with them at the same time - emphasizes Andersen. - They allow you to tell your colleague "You messed up" without sounding brutal and condescending, but even without To run away from the difficult truths that one never wants to hear."
13.02.2025
THE FIRST QUESTION IN A BUSINESS COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT. AND IT IS NOT "HOW ARE YOU"
A business meeting with a person whom you need to convince of something in order to achieve your professional goal. "Hello. How are you," you ask politely as you shake hands. Everyone does it, so do you.
A mistake, communication experts surprisingly claim. "How are you" are the two most useless words in business communication. The person asking the question doesn't really care. Whoever answers it is not telling the truth. It automatically says "Thanks, ok". It's not professional to explain, no matter how bad it is. His problems in most cases have nothing to do with dating. Even if they have, it's probably not the time to tell them.
"How are you" - "Fine" is pointless dialogue, wasted time and a missed opportunity to make a connection.
If you start with this question, you need to keep asking to really get close to the person you're talking to. He'll love that you're interested in him. Everyone is considered significant enough to be a topic of conversation.
Your questions should be precisely measured - not to tactlessly enter the interlocutor's personal space, but also to show that he himself is in the center. It's best to be variations around his work at the moment.
If you are in his office, open your eyes before you open your mouth. Find something to improvise on - a picture on the wall, a family photo on the desk, a cyclist's helmet. They can spark an interesting conversation.
This is quite different from the cliché "How are you" and then you wait for the cliché-response and move on to the topic you gathered for.
Researchers from Harvard University have established the effect of correct questions with a series of experiments. They analyzed more than 300 conversations. The bottom line is that "How are you" doesn't bring people together. In dialogues where there were follow-up questions showing interest in the interlocutor's personality, he really liked the person asking them much more.
The key to getting the most out of conversations is to start by asking the other person a series of authentic, meaningful questions, researchers conclude. Authentic means intended for himself, not duty. This way you gain his trust and he is much more open to listening to what you want from him.
There is a school of communication experts who debunk the infamous 5-minute rule of thumb at the start of a business meeting.
According to the other school, they bond even if you talk about clichéd topics like the weather outside or heavy traffic. There is nothing important to say about them, but they are an introduction, because of which the conversation does not start "from the door for the head", i.e. directly with what you came together for.
Talking about the weather and traffic is the worst way to melt the ice, say cliché opponents. An exception is if you are communicating something that might be important to your interlocutor - for example, that there was an accident near his office and they closed the road. General talk only works to create rapport if you avoid clichéd topics and focus on things that are important to the other person.
If you don't believe me, think about how annoying these duty topics are.
You say "It's getting very hot outside, I heard on the radio in the car that the temperature will reach 40 degrees". The person answers you "Yes, yes, unpleasant". You do nothing to build trust with each other.
Even if you pick up the traffic and agree that it is "terrible, terrible", you still do not get closer, because thousands of your fellow citizens think so. It is quite another thing, if you know that the person often travels to Bucharest, to talk about what you read in the newspaper - they are closing the old car center there, and ask him what he thinks. You give him the opportunity to tell about his observations, to share his opinion.
This is already beyond the cliché, it makes the conversation authentic. You really make a connection that helps in the next moment by getting to the heart of your meeting.
Communication specialists also advise you to be the first with an authentic question, so that you don't continue with the even dumber "How are you?" I.e. to immediately speak in such a way as to show interest in your interlocutor. Otherwise, he will ask you "How are you", you will end up with the usual answer "Thank you, good", and you will have to continue with the repetition "How are you".
If it happens that he starts with the cliché, in no case repeat it, but by all means dig up some more original follow-up questions about the personality of your interlocutor.
This way, you don't miss your chance to build trust in yourself. By leaving the initiative to him, he will be interested in you and you will begin to feel sympathy.
Not that you have come together to fight. But still, you will always achieve more if you do not fall in love with your interlocutor. Otherwise, he has just achieved his goal, and not yours.
----Charisma Trick on Phone----
In a personal meeting, it is easier to arouse sympathy in your interlocutor, because you help each other with your whole appearance, with eye contact, with smiles, facial expressions and gestures, with the posture of your body.
On the phone, you only have to play with the tone of voice. Words matter, but so does how you say them. That's why communication experts advise to smile when you talk on the phone. This is always felt, makes your voice warmer and creates confidence in you.
Don't worry about looking like a grinning idiot in front of your office colleagues. At this moment, you are not communicating with them, you have an interlocutor on the other side, to whom you give all your attention.
12.02.2025
CAN I BE AN EMPLOYEE AND AN EMPLOYER IN ONE COMPANY AT THE SAME TIME
Consideration of the possibility for a business owner to appoint himself to a certain position is often posed as a matter of practice. For example, imagine that the owner of a small consulting firm is considering hiring a consultant as part of their team. This would enable him to benefit from various social security benefits and rights that are linked to the employment contract.
This scenario is particularly important because it affects issues of social security and worker's rights. Can a business owner use this strategy to improve their financial and social situation while providing additional protection for themselves and their business?
The employment contract is a bilateral contract. It is concluded between parties, one of whom has the status of employer, and the other - worker or employee. The Labor Code defines who is an employer. Counter rights and obligations arise for each of the parties to the employment relationship.
In the field of labor relations, a strict distinction between employer and worker or employee is essential. These two roles must remain separate and cannot be merged into one person. This is necessary to ensure objective control over the performance of labor duties and the performance of labor functions.
Imagine if the same person is both an employer and an employee, how can objective control over his actions be ensured? Who will see to it that he fulfills his duties? The answer is clear - in such a case, there is no legal interest for the person to control himself in matters of labor discipline. After all this, if he finds a violation, he will have to impose disciplinary punishment on himself, after which he will have the right to challenge his own order in court.
At the same time, the worker or contract employee works under the control and instructions of the employer. In accordance with the specifics of the relationship when providing work for a certain remuneration, the employment contract cannot be concluded in this way.
The employer-employee distinction remains a fundamental principle of labor law necessary to ensure fairness and efficiency in employment relations.
However, the difference between the employment contract and the management and control contract should also be clarified here. The contract of management and control is a contract by which the commercial company entrusts the management of a limited liability company or a joint stock company to the manager - trustee. This type of contract is regulated not by the Labor Code, but by the Commercial Law. By virtue of this contract, the manager undertakes to organize and manage the activities of the company at his own risk and in accordance with the current legislation, the company contract, or statutes, as well as the decisions of the General Meeting of partners, etc., being responsible for company affairs and representing the company before third parties.
With this contract, the achievement of a specific result is assigned, i.e. speaking of a management and control contract, we mean a civil law contract that regulates the relationship between two equal civil law subjects, and not an employment contract in which the employee undertakes to provide his workforce to the employer.
Reference:
paragraph 1, item 1 of the additional provisions of the Labor Code
Art. 141, para. 7 of the Commercial Law
Art. 241, para. 6 of the Commercial Law
Art. 244, para. 7 of the Commercial Law
