27.03.2025

HOW TO DEAL WITH A COLLEAGUE CRITIC

"Colleague Filipov tried very hard, but..." You know that this is how colleague Ivanova will start her speech after you present to the boss and the team the proposal on how to work on a new project. Not that he has anything against you specifically. She is like that - from the eternal critics.

Ivanova enters the list of types of nasty colleagues, which also includes the mean, the envious, the gossipers and the like. But critics are first and foremost unpleasant people who can be very useful if you use them correctly.

Instructions for use

In it, the first thing is to change your point of view. Ivanova is a good professional. She participates in the team and has an interest in the success of the task you will all be working on. Assume that by criticizing, he wants to contribute to your proposal, not (only) demean it and shine in front of the boss at your expense. Therefore, you should not come into conflict with her. You need to turn the confrontation she starts into a productive one.

Knowing Ivanova to be a critic, prepare yourself mentally that she will definitely speak out. Once you have this expectation, you will not go into "battle mode", i.e. retort sharply and scold yourself. You will patiently listen to her, thinking that she wants to present a different point of view. And you will try to learn something new, extract something valuable to enrich and improve what you offer.

So would the boss who assigned you to develop the proposal, present it to the team and discuss it. But when you voluntarily show yourself open to hear criticism and take what is useful, you are undoubtedly an excellent professional, able to cooperate with colleagues. You do not consider yourself overcompetent, you are not offended by remarks, you are not stubborn about yours, you are ready to change.

Demonstration of curiosity

In fact, why not be ready? People have different views. Your colleague's understanding may seem incomprehensible or wrong at first, but it is unintelligent to dismiss it just because it doesn't match yours. On the contrary, try to procrastinate with questions. Ask them kindly, carefully, showing a genuine desire to learn why she thinks the way she does and what exactly she's suggesting.

Communication specialists advise that you definitely create this attitude - that you will demonstrate a good-natured curiosity towards the critic Ivanova, instead of making her out to be a slanderer and a fool who nags for the sake of sport.

Gently ask her "How did you get to this position", "What do you think we should do", "What specifically do you suggest". Approach constructively, create an opportunity, ask her to express herself in substance. In this way, it will be known if there really is another point of view and another solution. If not, the critic herself will fall into the trap.

Even if you are completely sure that Ivanova will point out completely irrelevant things or nag, arm yourself with patience. Then it's even more important not to lose your temper and argue with her. Let her expose herself, your boss will probably cut her off. Or at least it will become clear to everyone how devoid of content her criticism is.

It is usually very difficult to hold back when someone is nagging and devaluing one's work. But promise yourself that you will do exactly the same with Ivanova, because in this way you will use her obsession with criticism to your advantage.

Think of confronting her as wrestling with the machines at the gym. You will sweat there, but it is good for your health and beauty. Here, too, you will sweat from efforts - to get something valuable from the criticism or not to quarrel with the petty nagging Ivanova, but this is beneficial for your career.

By the way, if your colleague is a good professional and always criticizes, but with the intention of improving the team's work and achieving greater success, use this in advance. Consult with her even before you present your proposal to the boss and others. Ivanova will be flattered, because critics like to ask them for their opinion.

The Franklin effect

Earns and the so-called Franklin effect. You can read about it in detail, but in short - ask the hostile person for a favor in order to change your attitude and his attitude. It is deeply rooted in the mind that a person helps his family, his friends, people with whom he has similar views. If you want a favor from this person, then he falls into one of these categories. If he does you a favor, then for him you also fall into one of these categories.

So ask Ivanova for a favor to change her attitude. If she tells herself in advance her objections to your proposal and you comply with any of them, she will feel respected. And either she won't criticize you, or her pathos will be far less.