03.01.2025
THE TABOO PHRASES OF A JOB INTERVIEW
There are several tactics you can use to impress a prospective employer during a job interview.
You can say what excites you about the job, which will show that you have passion and are genuinely interested in the opportunity to fill the position. You might ask what problem you can solve for the company to set yourself up for future success if you get the job. You can nod and smile while the interviewer is talking to show that you are confident and capable.
There are, of course, a few types of behavior that you should avoid, such as using phrases that could turn the interviewer off. Some are "big red flags," says Nolan Church, a former Google recruiter and CEO of salary data company FairComp. Here are a few phrases Church advises to avoid:
"I work too hard" or "I'm a perfectionist"
For starters, when the interviewer asks about your weaknesses, don't use phrases that make it sound like you don't have anything left to learn. These can be phrases like 'I work too hard' or 'I'm a perfectionist,' says Church. They are framed as character flaws when they are actually used as compliments.
According to him, this will make the interviewer think that you are either not being sincere about who you are as a person, or you really don't think there is any room for you to grow as a professional.
“I'm not hiring you to be perfect. I'm hiring you to grow with us,” says Church. Instead of these empty phrases, Church recommends giving an example of a mistake you made, what you learned from it, and how you moved on.
All phrases that shift blame
Don't say anything negative about people you've worked with. Whether it's a former colleague, a manager or the company, "anything that shifts the blame from you to someone else" sounds bad, Church insists.
"The people you want to work with take full responsibility for what they've done in the past, even if they've done something wrong," he adds.
In his words, taking responsibility shows that you are humble enough to admit that you are not perfect and that you are willing to learn from your mistakes and become better.
"You want to work with people who have the self-awareness to realize when they've gone wrong and update their own mental models to correct things," he says.
"I do not know"
Finally, avoid answering questions with "I don't know."
When Church hears this, she thinks, “Okay, so the conversation is over? You won't be able to solve these problems?” he says.
If you're just starting out in your professional career, it's quite possible that you don't have a lot of experience or anecdotes to draw inspiration from and give concrete examples of what you've been able to achieve. "In these scenarios, it's okay to say, 'I don't know, but I'd do the following to find out,'" Church explains. Give some examples of how you would hypothetically handle the problem to show that you will be proactive in moving forward.
After all, if you get the job, you get paid to solve problems the company has. Even at the interview you'll have to prove you can do it, he says.
02.01.2025
WHAT DETERMINES WHETHER WE GET PAID IF WE DON'T WORK ALL DAY
The question in the title of this article concerns one of the most current and controversial topics in the field of labor relations - what is considered working time and what should be paid as such.
The presentation of the different scenarios in which the worker is not engaged in an activity, as well as the question of whether he should be paid for this time, deepens the discussion about the rights and obligations of both the worker and the employer.
What are the regulations of these matters in the labor law, including what are the obligations of workers and employees and what are the consequences of their non-fulfillment?
Within the framework of the employment relationship, the worker or employee has certain rights and obligations. He has fixed working hours, a fixed workplace and uses the premises and tools of his employer. In addition, he is obliged to obey the legal regulations of the employer, which includes the performance of work duties and cooperation within the framework of his job description.
For example, a worker in a shop or an office worker who is engaged in an employment relationship must be at his place of work during the specified working hours - usually eight hours a day. The employer, in turn, is committed to condensing this working time with tasks related to the contract and job description of the worker or employee.
The Labor Code defines various duties that the worker or employee must perform during their working hours. One of the main duties is the use of all working hours for the performance of the assigned work, as well as compliance with the internal rules adopted in the enterprise. For example, if the worker is an administrator in a hotel, his main task is to serve guests, work according to service standards and follow the rules of the hotel.
Failure to fulfill these work obligations may be considered a violation of labor discipline. In such cases, the employer has the right to impose one of the disciplinary penalties provided for in the Labor Code. These penalties can be a reprimand, a warning for dismissal or dismissal of the worker. For example, if the administrator in the hotel does not fulfill his duties by not serving the guests or not following the rules of the hotel, he may receive a warning of dismissal or even be fired by the employer.
In the highly competitive work environment, cases of arbitrariness on the part of employers towards workers and employees are not rare. Such situations include deductions from wages for being late for work or an appointment, for talking excessively on the phone, and other similar actions.
In addition, some employers impose "fines" that are not intended by the legislature as a financial penalty against the employee or worker. Such behaviors can lead to tension and conflict in the work environment, which can be resolved through clearly established rules and dispute resolution procedures.
It is important to note that the law explicitly states the possibility of deductions from the labor remuneration in certain cases, but it is important that they are carried out only with the consent of the worker or employee.
For example, deductions can be made for advances received, taxes, social security contributions and other deductions comprehensively listed in the law.
Reference:
Art. 126 of the Labor Code
Art. 186 of the Labor Code
Art. 210, para. 4 of the Labor Code
Art. 272, paragraph 1 of the Labor Code
31.12.2024
STEREOTYPES OF CONSCIOUSNESS OFTEN PREVENT SUCCESS
Success in your career, and indeed in almost every situation in life, is in your head. There is the knowledge gained through education and experience, the skills to analyze, to come up with solutions and to work in a team, the self-belief that you can, the confidence that you will succeed. However, there are also certain features of the human consciousness that greatly interfere - stereotypes. They arise from the same positive accumulations in the mind, but when you let them out of control, they become their negation.
Decontamination, that is, the purification of consciousness, is more of a theoretical scientific term. According to psychologists, stereotypes are difficult to change. By being aware of them, however, at least you allow less damage. And if you try to self-manipulate, you may even get out of the trap of the most common stereotypes.
It's a subconscious drive. You have accumulated life experience and you think you know how to act. You don't take into account the new circumstances, you fall into a mental pattern, you make hasty conclusions, you drive in the familiar way. Psychologists call this reflex action. It is as if the brain automatically makes a decision, choosing the shortest path, ie. the one he has already passed.
It's hard to make the mind work any other way. The only way out is to quite purposefully stop him, force him to find the differences in the factual situation, evaluate them and break out of the pattern. Successful people, even in the most stressful and demanding situations, strive to do just that.
It is an absolutely human endeavor to explain everything that is happening around you. At first glance, such an approach should help you analyze the situation more correctly and make more correct decisions. But the mind guesses a trick here too - it reduces the explanation to what it knows. It constructs some reality of its own, without seeking to critically consider this version, to check whether alternatives are possible. What he cannot find an explanation for, he often directly rejects (there is no such animal, said the shopkeeper, seeing a giraffe for the first time).
Successful people do not declare the inexplicable impossible to exist, nor do they reduce everything to the known. They assume that they need new knowledge and research to understand problems, circumstances, events, people. By approaching it this way, they guarantee themselves success.
You think you are one of those people who do not have superimposed prejudices against other people - gays, foreigners, women, rich people, etc. However, this is called prejudice. They are bad, but they are easier to recognize and self-control. Prejudices seem more harmless. They are subconscious beliefs that are based on experience and determine your behavior. Simply put, you know that soup is eaten with a spoon, not a fork.
Yes, but this very pre-confidence often prevents you from seeing a new solution in a familiar situation that can lead to new results. The most successful people command their consciousness to think outside the box and discover an effective way that no one has thought of before. Again, in the simplest terms, for example, they skip the spoon and straight up drink the soup.
You've racked your brain, you've been careful not to fall into any of the traps of your conscious and subconscious mind, you've come up with a solution. Relieved, you become so focused on him, so fond of him that you miss out on all other options. Even if they occur to you, you dismiss them. You begin to perceive only those facts that confirm your opinion. Anything that contradicts it, you ignore.
The brain works the same in all people - it defends its position, refuses another point of view. As a result, objectivity is lost, and the decision is not necessarily the right one.
Successful people avoid this trap of self-loving consciousness by purposefully seeking out opponents. They listen to their arguments and try to refute them. And if they can't, they change their mind.
Most people pride themselves on being able to think for themselves and are hard-pressed to be influenced. This is rarely true - consciously or subconsciously, they adopt attitudes from colleagues, friends, relatives and begin to share them. This way they feel part of the community and live more comfortably. Conformists always have it easier than rebels.
However, success means breaking out of mainstream stereotypes. The small one is to do things like others, but better. The big one is to consciously manipulate yourself, to leave the cliche and do things differently.
One of the nastiest tricks of the subconscious mind is transferring the negative feelings you have toward familiar people into your interactions with strangers.
You go on a first date with a business partner, he somehow resembles that unpleasant fellow student with whom you always competed at university. Without wanting to, you show coldness and fail the deal.
It is insidious to convey naive and positive feelings. The new colleague has something of your closest friend, you trust her uncritically and you sink into intrigue because she is ill-intentioned.
This transfer of feelings is completely natural - your brain goes into the pattern by likening the unknown to the familiar. From there, the same emotions are awakened. But the transference in question is the most common reason you fail your relationships with others, say psychologists. The chance of being wrong when you judge someone by how they remind you of someone else is enormous.
The transference of feelings is also a method of treatment in psychotherapy. So heal yourself by not allowing your subconscious to make such a transfer in your business relationships.
30.12.2024
A SELFISH FELLOW SURVIVAL GUIDE
Every person loves himself. Self-love and self-confidence are part and parcel of normality. It's just that you've had a colleague who is beyond normal - completely convinced of his superiority over you and over everyone else. He is so excessively self-absorbed and conceited, so unceremoniously trying to swag and get privileges, that you can barely stand him. And you have to work and communicate with him for 8 hours, five days a week.
Don't let him bully you, don't bully yourself by getting angry, but don't support his sense of superiority or give in to his "you all owe me" behavior. Try to get into his psychology and protect yourself from emotional exhaustion.
Nothing personal
First decide firmly that you will not get angry. It's unpleasant, but that's life. You don't get to choose your colleagues. Bad luck has met you with someone who may be a good professional but not a person of value. It happens quite often - if you talk to friends, you will find out that there is at least one of them in every team.
Second, take it for granted that the egoist never thinks of anyone else. Do not consider his attitude personal - it is not to you, but to every being. He is that way by nature and is simply incapable of being otherwise. So don't try to change it. You won't succeed, you'll just waste your time and stress yourself out.
It's not your job to re-educate him, causing the husband/wife, boyfriend, relatives and friends to butt heads. You just have to protect yourself from its harm.
Awarded carelessly
The most important rule for sparing relationships with a selfish colleague is to set a limit.
He is an emotional vampire. It wants your attention but gives nothing in return. If you don't notice in time, you will begin to neglect your needs at the expense of his. You will listen to his bragging, problems, gossip, do his work and even help him in his personal affairs. That's what friends always do, and often times - good colleagues too, but there is reciprocity. And the egoist never returns even a gram of what he received. Even from an elementary upbringing, he will not show attention, sympathy, care when you need it. He won't take a minute to talk about himself, he'll immediately inject his ego into the topic, whether it's the project you're working on together or the manja you cooked last night at home.
So that it does not lead you to devastation, do not be soft-spoken and do not allow it to become a vampire that consumes your energy and emotions.
The surest tactics for communicating with the egoist include 4 points:
On personal matters, don't let him talk to you. When he starts to brag, delicately excuse himself with busyness. When he starts to complain, mutter something along the lines of "That's life" and hurry back to your duties.
He will run away from you when he realizes you are not cooperating. This is the good thing about the egoist - he needs interest in his persona and is not satisfied with being a "radio" that talks to himself and does not receive a response. When he feels this way, he looks for a more empathetic colleague.
He feeds off your humiliation
In the relationship with a selfish colleague, you need to take into account one more feature. He is worse than a narcissist. People who receive such a name are narcissistic and love to be admired. But they are more harmless because "ah, you're irresistible" is enough for them. And egoists also need to feel superior to others. They are skilled manipulators who know how to take control of key emotional settings to make you feel inferior or guilty.
You should not get into the game of the colleague who brags, points out his advantages and achievements to make you think that he is something more than you. If he sees that he is succeeding, he becomes bitter and feeds his ego by crushing your self-esteem.
It's the same if he senses that you feel guilty for not giving him enough attention or letting him use you. Rest assured that as soon as he catches you even flinching, he will increase his manipulative pressure to obsess over you.
A fight with measured irony
It is not bad manners to remind a self-centered person that the world does not revolve around him. It should be with a well-measured dose of irony. After all, he is your colleague, you have to work together, and rudeness will complicate your relationship. As much as you want to cut him off just the way he deserves, throw in with a smile, "Of course we'll deal with your problem first, you're the most important" or "Oh, I knew you were great a long time ago." Be diplomatic, don't blame him "You don't care what others think", but say "Are you ready to listen to me anyway".
The egoist does not notice other people's thoughts and emotions, he focuses only on his own. But precisely for this reason, he feels very well any encroachment on them. That is to say, your irony stabs him in his sweetest place - narcissism. And your claim of equality is an attack on his egocentrism.
He will not tolerate such damage to his persona and will limit his business relations with you to the minimum necessary. This will make him act selfish again, but you already have a strategy to counter him.
How can you recognize him?
His sentences usually start with "I". You will never hear "we" from his mouth, especially if he reports to the boss what the team has done. "We achieved good results" usually sounds like "I think the results are good. Personally, I did..." And follows a tirade dedicated to his own merits.
Don't get angry, learn. Try to insert yourself into the report by cleverly highlighting your contribution as well.
"How are you" for him is an expression without content. If he even thinks to use it, it's just an automated cliché. He doesn't even wait to hear a formal "Thanks, ok", let alone something of substance. Be content with this on-call response and don't try to share professional or personal problems because he'll ignore you right away and his glassy stare will leave you feeling humiliated. If you have something to talk about in your general work, ask the question for discussion quite directly.
Avoid asking him "How are you", because he will explain at length - he thinks he is the center of the universe and everyone is interested in him. Be satisfied only with the inevitable "Hello" for good upbringing.
Everyone owes him. He thinks he should work the least and get the most, but you are fighting for your rights. He is convinced that it should be the most comfortable place for him in the office life. And don't be annoyed by that, just make sure your desk is further away from his. Physical distance from the egoist is also a sparing measure.
27.12.2024
WHEN THE BOSS REBELS ON YOU AND THE GUILTY COLLEAGUE KEEP SICK
The boss is angry, very angry. Blaze fire and brimstone. Horror - against you.
From his violent tirade, you gradually learn that what made him angry was not your fault, nor your responsibility. The blunder is your colleague.
And this colleague is sitting next to you and not a word, not a cry, not a groan. Meekly, sneakily lurks.
And what should you do? Do not boil, do not be angry,
don't be offended and don't call.
Your boss is now bubbling and you will inflame him even more if you say "But why are you arguing with me". By interrupting him, you will add fuel to the fire, no matter what you say. Wait for it to calm down.
Take control of your own emotions during this time. It is very difficult when it is not your fault, and especially when the boss overdoes the harsh evaluations and words. But don't give in to your negative feelings. The moment you let them grab you, you become vulnerable.
Try not to be a mirror for the angry person and keep your composure. Only in this way can you get out of the conflict. Otherwise, you will get into a scandal, but remember, the angry person is your boss. Your most important goal is to let him release his negative emotions with your temporary silence.
And to your colleague, who is guilty and persists, don't be angry. Yes, he acts inappropriately. The honest person will immediately say "Boss, it was my responsibility". But such is life, where does this luck come from to work only with people who have the courage and morals to take their blame.
Your composure is even more necessary because you have to
to fight with two - an unfair boss and a mean colleague.
Remember this when you are hesitant to state in plain text that the one who did not do his work is your colleague. No, there is nothing to be uncomfortable about. You don't give it out and you don't pass it on. You speak the truth. You shouldn't feel any pity for him, if you really have no fault, and the guilty one keeps silent.
The only question that should concern you is when to open your mouth and
what exactly to say so as not to complicate the situation.
You boss probably know him. If he's a good manager and just messed up, you shouldn't make him seem incompetent by your reaction. He is the boss, he assigned responsibilities and assigned tasks, he must be aware of which of his subordinates is charged with what work. But he'll be pissed if he hears some equivalent of "You're wrong, boss, to fight me. He assigned it to the colleague, and he lashed out." It sounds like an accusation against the boss, and under no circumstances should you allow it.
After listening in silence and waiting for the boss to cool down, insert something like: "I understand, you are angry that the part of the project that Ivanov was supposed to finish did not work out. I am ready to help. What can I do?" It is
an elegant way to state several things
at the same time: that the superior does not scold his rightful subordinate, but this unjustly aggrieved person does not get angry, brings clarity in passing and is ready to cooperate.
If he is really a good manager and a fair person, he will immediately understand what is happening. Either he will tackle Ivanov, or he will start a constructive conversation about who should do what to solve the problem.
He will probably remember who behaved how in this situation. He will appreciate your behavior - you have not disparaged him as being ignorant of the distribution of work in the team, which is his official duty to know. And for the meanly lurking colleague, maybe he will have one thing in mind going forward.
But if he's the type of manager who likes to assign collective blame as well, prepare to get nowhere. Again, tell yourself that the blunder is your colleague's, although the superior will instantly join you in it, will find something to reproach you for.
Again, don't get angry and don't take offense. Man is like that, he doesn't admit when he's wrong. I hope he at least remembers that it wasn't your fault and there won't be any bigger consequences. But think about it
how often it happens that he imputes other people's faults to you.
If it is often, he has ordered you for some reason. Or you have a circle of favorites who are always the holy water not drunk, someone prevented them from doing their work, etc. You are not one of them, and if you do not want to use some tricks to move among the favorites, you will always suffer from the boss. It makes more sense to look around for other opportunities within this company or outside.
While you're at it, don't forget the act of the co-worker who lurked around while your boss scolded you for him. This is not bad memory, but prudence. This man is dishonest, other meannesses can be expected from him.
23.12.2024
WHO IS ENTITLED TO REHABILITATION AND PHYSIOTHERAPY UNDER CLINICAL PATHWAYS PAID FOR BY THE NATIONAL HEALTH INSURANCE FUND
The right to rehabilitation under clinical pathways paid for by the National Health Insurance Fund (NHIF) is granted to health insured persons who suffer from diseases included in the specified clinical pathways and meet the criteria for hospitalization.
The NHIF pays for 11 clinical pathways in the field of physiotherapy and rehabilitation, which are related to:
- Diseases of the musculoskeletal system;
- Diseases of the central nervous system;
- Diseases of the peripheral nervous system;
- Diseases of the cardiovascular system;
- Physical therapy, rehabilitation and specialized care after treatment for covid-19.
What are the clinical pathways for rehabilitation and physiotherapy that the NHIF pays for?
The clinical pathways paid for by the NHIF are the following:
- CP No. 258 "Physical therapy and rehabilitation in case of birth trauma of the central nervous system";
- CP No. 259 "Physical therapy and rehabilitation in case of birth trauma of the peripheral nervous system";
- CP No. 260 "Physical therapy and rehabilitation in case of cerebral palsy";
- CP No. 261 "Physical therapy and rehabilitation in case of primary muscle injuries and spinal muscular atrophy";
- CP No. 262 "Physical therapy and rehabilitation of diseases of the central nervous system";
- CP No. 263.1 "Physical therapy and rehabilitation in diseases of the peripheral nervous system";
- CP No. 263.2 "Physical therapy and rehabilitation with complex underwater-extension therapy in diseases of the peripheral nervous system with spinal cord injuries";
- CP No. 264 "Physical therapy and rehabilitation after a previous/old myocardial infarction and after surgical interventions";
- CP No. 265 "Physical therapy and rehabilitation in diseases of the musculoskeletal system";
- CP No. 267 Physical therapy, rehabilitation and specialized care after treatment for covid-19.
How can you benefit from clinical pathways for rehabilitation and physiotherapy?
After the assessment of the attending physician, who will issue you a "hospitalization referral".
Where can I do rehabilitation and physiotherapy on clinical pathways?
In a medical institution that has a contract with the NHIF for carrying out activities on clinical pathways and you are a health insured person.
How long is the duration of the clinical pathways for rehabilitation and physiotherapy?
The NHIF pays for one hospitalization per patient for the duration of the calendar year, except for some diagnoses that are indicated in the pathway algorithm.
Is there another option for rehabilitation and physiotherapy besides the one offered by the NHIF?
Yes, when you have decided to enter a rehabilitation facility or sanatorium at the Ministry of Labor and Social Policy or the National Social Security Institute. In these cases, the NHIF does not pay the costs of your stay.
23.12.2024
YOUR BOSS CAN'T READ MINDS, TELL YOURSELF
In any kind of human relationship, misunderstandings lead to bad consequences. In your relationship with the boss, they can even cause a disaster. He is not your love partner that you keep silent, sulk, and after he asks you "What's up" 10 times, finally say to yourself what you are dissatisfied with. He will not wait 10 days for you to be afraid to ask the question "What did you mean when you said..." There should be no hints, guesses, guessing between you. In this way, no work goes well.
According to psychologists, people very often
they make two types of mistakes.
One is to think they know what others are thinking. Instead of asking to clarify the problem, the new task, the goals and expectations, they
act on their own assumptions.
This is a shortcut to failure. It cannot happen otherwise, because they do not comply with objective reality, but with some subjective picture arranged in their own head.
The advice of specialists in personal and career development is to promptly seek to understand in as much detail as possible what and why you need to do. And how to do it if you're not expected to know, or if you assume a new approach is needed.
There's no shame in asking. It's a shame to think you have it all figured out
and finally fail.
It is the same when you assume that your boss thinks something bad about you, that he is not satisfied with your work, that he is even preparing to fire you.
A good manager should be prepared how to communicate with his subordinates. The main rule of good corporate communication is not to speak in understatement, but to give a clear and motivated assessment. But if this does not happen, and you do not like his attitude towards you,
no point guessing you're paranoid or a traveler.
Find a way to ask even at the risk of hearing the worst. Better a terrible end than a never-ending horror.
The second mistake is to hope that your boss can read minds. Employees usually let her in when they want something the most. For example, to participate in a project that will bring them higher incomes and will be a step up in their professional development. Or they wait for the superior to notice their merits and praise them. Or they think they deserve a promotion, but remain modestly silent.
Most people are not telepaths, and your boss is probably one of them. Or maybe just
he doesn't have time to think about what moods and longings are floating in your head.
It is true that, in theory, good managers should pay attention to each of their subordinates, listen to them and take care of them so that they feel happy and be as effective as possible. But in practice it doesn't happen exactly like that. Even due to lack of time or desire, many companies do not even hold those meetings once a year, when the boss, as a rule, is obliged to talk to each of his employees in private, precisely with the aim of getting into his head.
So the modern word "proactive" would say
to take care of yourself.
If you are not afraid to tell yourself what you want, it is 99.9% certain that you will not get it.
Only at first glance it seems like the schoolboy "Please, ma'am, let me" apply to do some job that is interesting, prestigious, well paid. That's why you're in this company - to do work. Why not take the initiative and ask yourself a task that you will be happy to do, instead of waiting for the boss to guess your desire by looking. It's the school thing to pretend to be inconspicuous, as if the lady is looking for someone to pick up in class. You "raising your hand" is a display of maturity and initiative.
Any manager will tell you that it is better to describe your expectations openly and precisely. You may face rejection, but at least you and your boss will be aware of current opportunities and near-term prospects, especially when it comes to promotion.
When you're unhappy about something important at work, don't wait for your boss to notice that you're angry and figure out why. It is very possible that he notices and remembers, but does not want to touch the subject. It's in your best interest to talk and talk about how things can go so that you don't feel overwhelmed, undervalued, unfairly harmed.
It's silly to think your boss can read minds, but it's smart
it's good to think about exactly how your conversations will go
with him. They are not easy, because most often it is about conflict situations. Or potentially conflicting if you're going to make a claim. So prepare well.
The most ridiculous thing would be to go to clarify, and after the conversation to remember what other thoughts of yours you should have formulated out loud or to try to guess what exactly thoughts were going through the head of the boss.
19.12.2024
SNEAKY TRICKS TO BE LIKED
Actually this, actually that, repeats your interlocutor. "Actually" is one of the parasitic words that do not grace the speech. But instead of smiling to yourself that the person on the other side doesn't realize what kind of parasite he found, you can use his bad habit. You want to endear yourself to him and achieve your goal.
There are various psychological tricks to make your interlocutor feel on the same page as you.
Some are more complicated and take time. For example, the so-called Franklin effect - asking someone for a small favor and counting on them not to refuse you a bigger one later. The American politician Benjamin Franklin personally tried the effect, later named after him, and wrote in his diary: "A person who has done something nice for you once is more likely to help you again."
However, you often have to build trust very quickly, there is no time to build longer lasting relationships. Communication experts claim that even for such cases there are tricks to help yourself.
First you need to approach with an iron faith that the interlocutors will like you. Then continue with more techniques.
The example with "actually" is about a technique that will allow you to find out if the interlocutor likes you or not.
This is sometimes obvious at first glance, but with good professionals who are also well-mannered people, courtesy is a must. If the interlocutor listens amiably and even nods politely, it does not mean that he will agree to your proposal.
To determine your behavior and further efforts, you can check if you like him with a simple trick. As you listen to him carefully, notice a specific word he likes to use. When you hear it, smile and nod your head affirmatively. If the person likes you, they will start using the word or phrase more and more often. This is how he will show his attitude towards you. And because you show him sympathy with smiles and nods, he will subconsciously begin to trust you.
The trap here is to gauge your reaction. You must appear sincere. A light shade of irony will have the opposite effect, especially if your interlocutor is aware of his bad habit of using a parasitic word or expression frequently and unnecessarily.
The nod and smile trick also works through another likability technique - the person begins to like you more because they find commonalities between you. And there is no doubt that people are built like that - they feel closer to the one with whom they have similarities. Your interlocutor loves the word or expression. You smile as if you like it too. So you have a resemblance. It makes the person feel good and is more likely to agree.
It is precisely for this purpose that the so-called mirror technique - to create similarities between you and your interlocutor by repeating his gestures.
Naturally, the person will like you if you have learned the habit of giving compliments at every opportunity. There is not an individual of the genus Homo sapiens who does not enjoy hearing a good word about himself.
The reactions to catch the right moment and pour the right dose of flattery are learned. Therefore, start training with your loved ones - family and friends, then move on to your colleagues and boss. After a while, you'll have no problem using this trick with strangers.
Well, it's human and vice versa - you can easily show yourself imperfect in front of your interlocutor. You may make the mistake of making yourself more likable to him instead of flaunting your competence and idealism.
All people try not to make mistakes because they are afraid of ridicule. But making a small mistake shows that you are not perfect, and you are not enviable. On the contrary - by correcting you or by helping you find the exact word with which you supposedly have difficulty, the other person feels better than you. This is how he relaxes in your company, you gain his trust and sympathy. Here is fertile ground for you to achieve what you want from him without him thinking of you as manipulators.
The mistake should be minor and you should not do this trick often. Otherwise, people will start to doubt your abilities or see that you are using a technique. However, she is quite famous.
A clever way to become likable and gain trust is to give the impression that you are sharing a secret. You do not say something really important and too personal about yourself - in business communication such familiarity is even startling if you do not know your interlocutor well enough. The secret you're sharing should make him feel special, but he's also not embarrassed by your revelation. So think very carefully about what kind of person you have in front of you in order to choose what to share.
A tried-and-true technique for getting what you want is to both take no for an answer and create the illusion that you're offering options. The trick works in practice by asking the person not if they will do something or not, but when.
You want to receive a document from a colleague. You don't ask him "Will you give it to me". You ask if he can send it to you tomorrow or if it would be more convenient for him at the end of the week. That way, you leave it in no doubt that he may refuse to do the job, but at the same time you don't pressure him, you give him a choice. Both you demand of him and you do not command him. You give the impression that he is in control of the situation. It is the most important to achieve your goals.
--------- The Spotlight Effect ---------
The world does not revolve around you for better or for worse.
This message may seem redundant to you. You think you don't think such a thing about yourself.
When you think about it, you probably don't think so. But subconsciously it is. Which is why you might not be acting the right way with the people you want to get something from.
This thing is important to you, but it is also good for them, it does not cost them much effort. Then why the hell don't they?
Experts explain that the reason is probably the inability to inspire trust and show exactly this second part - that the important thing for you is also good for them. And this inability is perhaps due to the subconscious belief that everyone lives with - that he is the center of the universe.
If you don't believe you have it, get yourself checked. You're a business woman, and oh, horror, you've lost a loop in your sock. It seems to you that everyone in it is watching. Or maybe you have a new haircut. You wonder why your coworkers don't notice.
It is not at all true that people around you pay as much attention to you as you imagine. The so-called has been checked many times with a variety of studies. spotlight effect. The term was introduced by the American psychologists Thomas Gilovich and Kenneth Savitsky in 1999.
For most researchers, the experiment goes something like this - they ask volunteers to wear a strange t-shirt to the office all day, say. Then they are asked to indicate how many people noticed what they were wearing. At the same time, psychologists themselves check how many people actually paid attention to the strange garment.
The results showed that participants in the experiment indicated twice the actual number of people who noticed the feature in question.
So the conclusion is that a person is in the center of attention much less often than he thinks. He overestimates his importance to others and only imagines that he is in the spotlight.
If he wants other people to really notice him and get something from them, he has to work hard to gain sympathy and trust.
18.12.2024
PHRASES THAT CONFIDENT PEOPLE NEVER SAY IN FRONT OF THE BOSS AND COLLEAGUES
Self-confident people advance faster in the profession and climb higher in the service hierarchy. Surely you do not doubt this statement. Career development experts who have spent years researching successful leaders and employees say there are at least 10 phrases that are completely foreign to them. This is precisely the reason why these people do not let anything stop them and achieve their goals with determination.
Most of the phrases are negative. You've probably heard a million times that negative thinking is a confidence killer. You can't grow if you approach everything with a pre-set mindset of failure.
A self-confident person does not say "That's not fair" either out loud or in mind. He knows that life is usually not fair. He doesn't complain that he put in the effort, but success slipped away, or that he didn't get praise from his boss. He just sets out again to achieve results and is sure that next time he will succeed because he believes in his powers and abilities.
"I hate my job" isn't his catchphrase either. If he finds he hates the job, he starts looking for a new one. If the circumstances force him not to change his job right now, he does not get upset, but tries to achieve the maximum. Meanwhile, he does not fail to look around for a position in which he will be satisfied. Anything else will only slow it down on the way up.
If you say to yourself "I have no other choice", you do not have enough confidence in yourself. There are always many opportunities, you have to look for them. By telling yourself that there isn't, you limit your own thinking.
Never say to yourself "This is impossible" without thinking it over 100 times. Difficulties are challenges that a self-confident person does not shy away from, but finds a way to overcome.
"I can't do it" means admitting that you don't have the necessary knowledge, experience, or strength. But if it really is, make an effort to acquire them. Build your confidence by starting to say "I can do it". Over time, you will believe that you are capable of achieving anything you ask for, personal development experts advise. If you need proof to brag, make a list of all the things you've mastered and overcome. There are probably enough examples in your life that you can overcome any challenge.
From the same series is the harmful phrase "I don't know how". Remember something elementary - you didn't know how to walk, but you learned. You didn't know the letters, but you started reading. And you couldn't drive, and everything about your current profession was unknown to you, but you made an effort and mastered it. When you look at life that way, it turns out that everything you've ever done took some time to learn. So is the next thing you tackle. In short, if you don't know how, find out. Or find someone who knows to help you. The most successful people believe that they must constantly improve themselves, seek new knowledge and skills, because they are the way to achieve more.
"I should have done it another way" is a phrase you can say and immediately after it articulate what that other way is. That way you will have learned from the mistake. Just berating yourself is not productive and destroys your confidence.
"I don't have enough time" is an excuse for those who are mostly lazy or indecisive. People who believe in themselves set priorities and strive to achieve them even at the cost of deprivation.
Some affirmations are also quite dangerous.
For example, "It's done this way" makes you loop. The more open your mind is, the more easily you accept the new, the more chances you have for success. If you often think you know exactly how to do things, your self-confidence has reached a level where it is already hurting you. In other words, you have forgotten yourself.
Thinking that your colleagues or competitors are stupid and incompetent does not show a healthy dose of self-confidence. They are more likely to be intelligent enough to recognize the same opportunities as you, and capable enough to strive to capitalize on them. Underestimating them will slow you down because it means you haven't taken the objective situation into account.
12.12.2024
THE LUCK RITUAL IS NOT JUST A SUPERSTITION - IT'S SCIENTIFICLY PROVEN TO HELP
Your colleague asks you to take the report to the boss for him. You don't want to because you are not aware of the details of the document. And then your colleague ends with an argument - he is worried that if he goes, there will be a scandal with the boss, because when he left for work in the morning, he put on his left shoe first. And when he goes wrong like that, the whole day doesn't go well for him.
You wonder whether to laugh or sympathize with the colleague. An educated man, with a successful career and a happy personal life, but in the grip of superstition.
True, it's a bit funny with the left and right foot. But psychologists say that superstitions and rituals should not be confused after all.
Many people, especially those who often appear in front of an audience or at competitions - artists and athletes for example - have rituals. Their importance should not be underestimated, because they help to remove the tension that often appears before a decisive moment and to gain self-confidence.
Irrational and sometimes frankly stupid actions play a positive role in regulating behavior, psychologists explain.
Scientific evidence has been collected through experiments that rituals actually change the brain's anxiety-related response and alleviate anxiety. They divert the mind from thoughts of possible failure and can be a tool for higher efficiency.
Researchers from the University of Toronto conducted a study to determine whether rituals actually help to tackle important tasks ahead. They assigned volunteers for a week to perform a certain ritual. "It consisted of a series of repetitive actions that resembled real-life rituals," explains lead study author Nick Hobson.
During the same week, the scientists monitored the brain activity of the participants. They found significantly reduced anxiety. They even measured a low neural signal in response to failures that occurred.
Nick Hobson points out that forms of ritual are found in all kinds of professional fields. They do not depend on intelligence. With them, exceptional specialists help each other to improve their concentration.
You've probably heard of surgeons who operate after playing certain music. Or for actress Cate Blanchett, who keeps a pair of elf ears in her purse, preserved from The Lord of the Rings, because they bring her good luck. The tennis player Rafael Nadal always goes out on the court with two bottles - an energy drink and water. He always puts them in a certain way to the left of his chair - one bottle behind the other and facing the court. "It's a way to introduce myself to the game," he commented.
Many of the most successful and creative people have good luck rituals, says Ellen Weinstein, who wrote a book on the subject. They rely on the power of self-belief that a ritual helps. Peace comes from faith itself, but one relaxes anyway.
Weinstein has collected in her book confessions of stars about strange rituals. Actress Lupita Nyong'o knits in her dressing room before going on stage. Beyoncé's obligatory pre-concert rituals take more than an hour, and prayer is the most unsurprising of them.
Experts advise creating a personal ritual that helps you reduce anxiety when starting a new task or facing a challenge.
But it should not be too obvious and too startling, because you will probably have to do it in front of other people. In order to pass the presentation successfully, you must turn three times from right to left is quite visible. Cross yourself three times too. Perhaps, if you are a believer, it is better to say in your mind "God first and I behind him".
The ritual should not border on obsessive-compulsive disorder. It's a state where a person can't do anything unless they start with some specific actions, if there's an odd number of objects around them, if their boss's tie is a little crooked, or if they have to sit on a red chair, say.
Rituals differ from superstitions in that they bring reassurance. Superstitions can also cause anxiety, as in the case of the colleague who put on the left shoe first.
Well, be careful on an important day, if you think it's going well if you step into the office on the right foot. But don't panic if you get the steps wrong.
By the way, superstitious rituals also help. It is claimed by researchers from the University of Chicago. They conducted experiments in which they observed behaviors to avoid bad luck and observed how they changed the way people perceived their fate.
In one experiment, the participants had to say "No one close to me will get into an accident." Then they would knock on wood, throw a ball (a Western European ritual against bad luck) or do nothing.
Scientists have found that most rituals with which people believe they cancel out evil involve an action that requires the application of active force - for example, knocking on a wooden table.
However, it is also such that it takes something away from the body - for example, knocking on the head did not have a positive psychological effect on the participants. Throwing salt or a ball helped. This is how we subconsciously convince ourselves that we have rejected something harmful, unpleasant or threatening, the scientists point out. Their experiments showed that the result is not just a calming of the psyche, but also a change in behavior from negative to more positive, which can have a real effect on life events.
Well, you probably shouldn't laugh at such superstitious rituals as telling a bad dream to running water so that it doesn't come true. It turns out that the magic is not that the bad goes down the drain, but that one feels much calmer and acts correctly.
