19.12.2024

SNEAKY TRICKS TO BE LIKED

Actually this, actually that, repeats your interlocutor. "Actually" is one of the parasitic words that do not grace the speech. But instead of smiling to yourself that the person on the other side doesn't realize what kind of parasite he found, you can use his bad habit. You want to endear yourself to him and achieve your goal.

There are various psychological tricks to make your interlocutor feel on the same page as you.

Some are more complicated and take time. For example, the so-called Franklin effect - asking someone for a small favor and counting on them not to refuse you a bigger one later. The American politician Benjamin Franklin personally tried the effect, later named after him, and wrote in his diary: "A person who has done something nice for you once is more likely to help you again."

However, you often have to build trust very quickly, there is no time to build longer lasting relationships. Communication experts claim that even for such cases there are tricks to help yourself.

First you need to approach with an iron faith that the interlocutors will like you. Then continue with more techniques.

The example with "actually" is about a technique that will allow you to find out if the interlocutor likes you or not.

This is sometimes obvious at first glance, but with good professionals who are also well-mannered people, courtesy is a must. If the interlocutor listens amiably and even nods politely, it does not mean that he will agree to your proposal.

To determine your behavior and further efforts, you can check if you like him with a simple trick. As you listen to him carefully, notice a specific word he likes to use. When you hear it, smile and nod your head affirmatively. If the person likes you, they will start using the word or phrase more and more often. This is how he will show his attitude towards you. And because you show him sympathy with smiles and nods, he will subconsciously begin to trust you.

The trap here is to gauge your reaction. You must appear sincere. A light shade of irony will have the opposite effect, especially if your interlocutor is aware of his bad habit of using a parasitic word or expression frequently and unnecessarily.

The nod and smile trick also works through another likability technique - the person begins to like you more because they find commonalities between you. And there is no doubt that people are built like that - they feel closer to the one with whom they have similarities. Your interlocutor loves the word or expression. You smile as if you like it too. So you have a resemblance. It makes the person feel good and is more likely to agree.

It is precisely for this purpose that the so-called mirror technique - to create similarities between you and your interlocutor by repeating his gestures.

Naturally, the person will like you if you have learned the habit of giving compliments at every opportunity. There is not an individual of the genus Homo sapiens who does not enjoy hearing a good word about himself.

The reactions to catch the right moment and pour the right dose of flattery are learned. Therefore, start training with your loved ones - family and friends, then move on to your colleagues and boss. After a while, you'll have no problem using this trick with strangers.

Well, it's human and vice versa - you can easily show yourself imperfect in front of your interlocutor. You may make the mistake of making yourself more likable to him instead of flaunting your competence and idealism.

All people try not to make mistakes because they are afraid of ridicule. But making a small mistake shows that you are not perfect, and you are not enviable. On the contrary - by correcting you or by helping you find the exact word with which you supposedly have difficulty, the other person feels better than you. This is how he relaxes in your company, you gain his trust and sympathy. Here is fertile ground for you to achieve what you want from him without him thinking of you as manipulators.

The mistake should be minor and you should not do this trick often. Otherwise, people will start to doubt your abilities or see that you are using a technique. However, she is quite famous.

A clever way to become likable and gain trust is to give the impression that you are sharing a secret. You do not say something really important and too personal about yourself - in business communication such familiarity is even startling if you do not know your interlocutor well enough. The secret you're sharing should make him feel special, but he's also not embarrassed by your revelation. So think very carefully about what kind of person you have in front of you in order to choose what to share.

A tried-and-true technique for getting what you want is to both take no for an answer and create the illusion that you're offering options. The trick works in practice by asking the person not if they will do something or not, but when.

You want to receive a document from a colleague. You don't ask him "Will you give it to me". You ask if he can send it to you tomorrow or if it would be more convenient for him at the end of the week. That way, you leave it in no doubt that he may refuse to do the job, but at the same time you don't pressure him, you give him a choice. Both you demand of him and you do not command him. You give the impression that he is in control of the situation. It is the most important to achieve your goals.

--------- The Spotlight Effect ---------

The world does not revolve around you for better or for worse.

This message may seem redundant to you. You think you don't think such a thing about yourself.

When you think about it, you probably don't think so. But subconsciously it is. Which is why you might not be acting the right way with the people you want to get something from.

This thing is important to you, but it is also good for them, it does not cost them much effort. Then why the hell don't they?

Experts explain that the reason is probably the inability to inspire trust and show exactly this second part - that the important thing for you is also good for them. And this inability is perhaps due to the subconscious belief that everyone lives with - that he is the center of the universe.

If you don't believe you have it, get yourself checked. You're a business woman, and oh, horror, you've lost a loop in your sock. It seems to you that everyone in it is watching. Or maybe you have a new haircut. You wonder why your coworkers don't notice.

It is not at all true that people around you pay as much attention to you as you imagine. The so-called has been checked many times with a variety of studies. spotlight effect. The term was introduced by the American psychologists Thomas Gilovich and Kenneth Savitsky in 1999.

For most researchers, the experiment goes something like this - they ask volunteers to wear a strange t-shirt to the office all day, say. Then they are asked to indicate how many people noticed what they were wearing. At the same time, psychologists themselves check how many people actually paid attention to the strange garment.

The results showed that participants in the experiment indicated twice the actual number of people who noticed the feature in question.

So the conclusion is that a person is in the center of attention much less often than he thinks. He overestimates his importance to others and only imagines that he is in the spotlight.

If he wants other people to really notice him and get something from them, he has to work hard to gain sympathy and trust.