23.12.2024

YOUR BOSS CAN'T READ MINDS, TELL YOURSELF

In any kind of human relationship, misunderstandings lead to bad consequences. In your relationship with the boss, they can even cause a disaster. He is not your love partner that you keep silent, sulk, and after he asks you "What's up" 10 times, finally say to yourself what you are dissatisfied with. He will not wait 10 days for you to be afraid to ask the question "What did you mean when you said..." There should be no hints, guesses, guessing between you. In this way, no work goes well.

According to psychologists, people very often

they make two types of mistakes.

One is to think they know what others are thinking. Instead of asking to clarify the problem, the new task, the goals and expectations, they

act on their own assumptions.

This is a shortcut to failure. It cannot happen otherwise, because they do not comply with objective reality, but with some subjective picture arranged in their own head.

The advice of specialists in personal and career development is to promptly seek to understand in as much detail as possible what and why you need to do. And how to do it if you're not expected to know, or if you assume a new approach is needed.

There's no shame in asking. It's a shame to think you have it all figured out

and finally fail.

It is the same when you assume that your boss thinks something bad about you, that he is not satisfied with your work, that he is even preparing to fire you.

A good manager should be prepared how to communicate with his subordinates. The main rule of good corporate communication is not to speak in understatement, but to give a clear and motivated assessment. But if this does not happen, and you do not like his attitude towards you,

no point guessing you're paranoid or a traveler.

Find a way to ask even at the risk of hearing the worst. Better a terrible end than a never-ending horror.

The second mistake is to hope that your boss can read minds. Employees usually let her in when they want something the most. For example, to participate in a project that will bring them higher incomes and will be a step up in their professional development. Or they wait for the superior to notice their merits and praise them. Or they think they deserve a promotion, but remain modestly silent.

Most people are not telepaths, and your boss is probably one of them. Or maybe just

he doesn't have time to think about what moods and longings are floating in your head.

It is true that, in theory, good managers should pay attention to each of their subordinates, listen to them and take care of them so that they feel happy and be as effective as possible. But in practice it doesn't happen exactly like that. Even due to lack of time or desire, many companies do not even hold those meetings once a year, when the boss, as a rule, is obliged to talk to each of his employees in private, precisely with the aim of getting into his head.

So the modern word "proactive" would say

to take care of yourself.

If you are not afraid to tell yourself what you want, it is 99.9% certain that you will not get it.

Only at first glance it seems like the schoolboy "Please, ma'am, let me" apply to do some job that is interesting, prestigious, well paid. That's why you're in this company - to do work. Why not take the initiative and ask yourself a task that you will be happy to do, instead of waiting for the boss to guess your desire by looking. It's the school thing to pretend to be inconspicuous, as if the lady is looking for someone to pick up in class. You "raising your hand" is a display of maturity and initiative.

Any manager will tell you that it is better to describe your expectations openly and precisely. You may face rejection, but at least you and your boss will be aware of current opportunities and near-term prospects, especially when it comes to promotion.

When you're unhappy about something important at work, don't wait for your boss to notice that you're angry and figure out why. It is very possible that he notices and remembers, but does not want to touch the subject. It's in your best interest to talk and talk about how things can go so that you don't feel overwhelmed, undervalued, unfairly harmed.

It's silly to think your boss can read minds, but it's smart

it's good to think about exactly how your conversations will go

with him. They are not easy, because most often it is about conflict situations. Or potentially conflicting if you're going to make a claim. So prepare well.

The most ridiculous thing would be to go to clarify, and after the conversation to remember what other thoughts of yours you should have formulated out loud or to try to guess what exactly thoughts were going through the head of the boss.