10.10.2024

NASTY COLLEAGUES, BUT USEFUL WHEN USED PROPERLY

You work in a team with ten colleagues. Luckily for you, most are good professionals. But unfortunately for you, some are not nice people at all. It is not possible to communicate only with the cool ones. The job requires you to have a give-and-take even with those you find repulsive.

Since there is no way to avoid them, you must learn to use them properly. It sounds a bit harsh, but it means knowing which of their qualities to take advantage of and which to beware of. The basis of your success lies in your efforts to get used to understanding others - both pleasant and unpleasant. Otherwise, there is no way to fit into the team and become better at your job, which is a necessary prerequisite for your career advancement.

There are at least five types of not-so-nice people that you can try to fit in with to the best of your ability. You don't have to get too close. Set yourself a limit beyond which you will not cross, so that you do not look like them and alienate the rest of your colleagues.

The over-ambitious

They do not accept defeat and are used to putting in a lot of effort to achieve success. This is good when they become a bike for the whole team.

It is practical to work with such a person, learn and get infected from him, especially when he is more experienced in the profession. He would help you if it furthered his goals. He will be very pleased if you publicly thank him. This increases the likelihood that he will be willing to cooperate with you in the future.

The bad thing is that, unlike healthy ambitious professionals, the overambitious are usually willing to do anything to gain an edge over others. Including dishonest actions. It is precisely for this reason that they are not loved.

So, the moment such a colleague considers you worthy competition, he will sacrifice you without batting an eye in order to ensure his promotion in the company.

That's why you need to anticipate this moment and do everything you can to not let him make you look bad, take credit for himself, or put a nasty number on you. Don't share any of your ideas with him because he will appropriate them. Make sure that your work is visible enough to the rest of your colleagues and especially to the boss.

The uninitiative

Some people are just good performers, never giving ideas on how the work can be done more efficiently and better. If you happen to have a common task with such a colleague, at first glance it is a pain.

But don't consider him mediocre just because he's indulged in a routine and doesn't budge an inch from what's required of him. If you try to narrate it, it can be very useful for you to come up with a better solution to the task.

Show a genuine interest in him and really listen to what he has to say. When he realizes that you hear him, he can start sharing important things, as long as he is a good professional. No wonder it turns out that no one has so far bothered to encourage him to be more active and proactive. Especially if your boss isn't one to ask for ideas, or he can't wait to listen to the narrower people on the team.

Against the background of such a person, you can also shine. Naturally, try to give him the credit he deserves by mentioning it like this: "While we were discussing what to do with my colleague, it occurred to me". That way you're actually telling the truth without belittling or exaggerating his role.

Keep in mind that a colleague who is used to being a doer is usually not very brave. It remains your responsibility to bear the consequences if what you came up with fails.

The pessimists

When you hear a colleague prophesy that everything will fail, try to use it constructively. Ask him why he thinks that. It is very possible that you will find real obstacles and risks. By weighing them up, you'll have a plan B in place in case something actually goes wrong.

It's hard to be a pessimist, but that's exactly why you can arm yourself with patience and gain an edge over your colleagues who can't stand his negativity and grumbling.

Of course, don't waste your time if you don't find anything useful. Some people say "It can't be done" and when asked why they answer "Because it is". You have to run away from them so they don't burden you with their negativity.

The gossipers

They just disgust you. But they are often knowledgeable, and if you keep your ears open, you can get some useful information. Just remember that you should make an effort to check it out.

However, it is imperative that you keep it to yourself and do not spread it, because you will also get the unpleasant fame of a gossip.

You can ask such a colleague clarifying questions, but never share information with him - neither about yourself, nor about other people, nor about events in the office. It is certain that he will spread it, and probably distort it.

When the gossip begins to slander, look to back off quickly.

The envious

They are very unpleasant, but they can also be a useful source of information because they like to scrutinize other people's achievements. Mainly to criticize and belittle them. However, if you get used to sifting through the essentials, you can draw the necessary conclusions from their stories.

You won't change them, so don't try to argue with them. When their comments about colleague X, who is actually a badass and the boss's favorite, become too mean to you, interrupt the conversation under some pretext.

Such an envious person can be your personal barometer - when you hear that he is gossiping behind your back, it means that you have already achieved or are about to achieve something significant at work.

From the exploiters, the hypocrites, the intriguers, the informers, and the slanderers, you must flee. You may at some point find it practical to ally yourself with such a colleague, but the risks are too great. Better to only contact as much as your job duties require. And all the while hedging against the possibility of him playing a nasty trick on you or getting you into an unpleasant situation.

--------- You did not come together to love each other ----------

To make it easier to tolerate your unpleasant colleagues, you should remember that you did not choose them, but by coincidence you have to work together. You don't have to love them and they don't have to love you. It is enough to observe the basic human and professional rules.

However, when a colleague violates them, do not feel too deeply because you are punishing yourself. Do not forget his act, but do not carry the burden of the insult, psychologists advise.

If you can forgive your colleague, even though he doesn't deserve it, it helps you to continue working with him. It will be very difficult if you keep the pain, if you harbor resentment and malice inside.

Forgiveness does not affect the person who offended you, and does not take the burden off him, because in most cases he does not suffer at all from being dishonest.

Forgiveness is important for you to let go of your negative feelings towards him. Strong people forgive even those who do not deserve it for the sake of their own mental comfort.

This does not mean that you love your colleague and do not protect yourself from the possibility that he will act dishonorably again. Be sure to take action against it. But by simultaneously taking action and letting go of your resentment over a past incident, you're not hindering your future.