23.05.2024

"I'M SICK OF IT" AND OTHER ALLEGEDLY HARMLESS, BUT FORBIDDEN REVELATIONS AT WORK

If you don't feel like saying "I'm fed up" at least once a day, then you are one of the lucky ones who have the perfect job. However, it is more likely that you are one of those who have no shortage of reasons for this phrase: a boss who does not know exactly what he wants, a colleague who did not fulfill his duties on time and interferes with you, a capricious client, an impudent partner, etc.

However, psychologists say that in the office you should avoid seemingly harmless remarks that show emotional instability. "I'm fed up" is from them.

When you frequently say such negative phrases, you probably think you're letting yourself off the hook. But with them you achieve two negative effects.

The first is that they start to think of you as someone who can't handle pressure. I.e. reputational damage.

The second effect is that you burden the colleagues you are complaining to. And the damage to your reputation, because no one likes whiners.

Also, it's a little doubtful that you're really relieving yourself by regularly declaring "I'm fed up" and the like to the public.

Let's say there's something you're fed up with. The colleagues to whom you say it can understand you in a specific situation. You are tense, de-stress. They show sympathy, they listen to you. But this is rather a condescending sympathy, from which your self-esteem will not rise.

When you complain a lot, colleagues will not only stop paying attention to you, but they will also start to avoid you. Because you seem irritable and unable to bear the pressures that accompany your job. Therefore, the bottom line is that you are not for this place.

If the advice of experts to try to keep negative emotions to yourself seems excessive, think about what will happen if the colleagues you complain to reciprocate in the same way. You say "I'm fed up" and pour out what. One by one they reply "Oh, if only you knew how fed up I am" and also pour buckets of complaints. Finally, it becomes so dismal and hopeless that the only reasonable way out will seem to be to immediately take your hats and go looking for another job.

By the way, a very reasonable question that you should ask yourself first is, if you very often want to scream "I'm fed up", what are you still doing in this workplace? When one feels unhappy, one does not complain incessantly, but does something to change the situation.

You don't do well with the line "I don't care" either. It doesn't matter what it was caused by - by a remark of the boss, by the fact that you did not get something you wanted, by the failure of a task. In any case, the phrase is from the so-called passive-aggressive, shows nerves, poorly suppressed anger, in other words, emotional instability.

According to psychologists, it also betrays immaturity. A sane adult rarely cares when something bad happens to him at work because he realizes that it could hurt his career. You want to appear stoic to your colleagues, but you're actually damaging your reputation again.

Specialists advise not to make demonstrations of nepukism, but on the contrary - that you realize the failure. But it doesn't paralyze you because you can analyze why it happened and learn how to never let it happen again.

Like "I'm fed up" and "I don't care" begs the question of what else you're doing here once you've stopped caring whether you succeed or fail at your job.

"Anyway" is a third bad phrase for the boss and colleagues. It can carry an aggressive message, in the sense "Whatever you say to me or whatever I say to you, we will not get along". It can also be uttered in a tone that betrays annoyance or resignation, meaning "Do what you want, I don't care". You keep showing toxic behavior, which again damages your professional reputation, the experts point out.

They advise throwing these phrases out of your vocabulary and never uttering them publicly in the office.

If you think you're going to really calm down, go outside and call your loved one, your friend, your mom. Before each of them you can say these phrases as many times as you want without worrying. You can also meekly sit at your desk and type on your phone several times "I'm sick, I'm sick" or "I don't care, I don't care". But don't come off as emotionally unstable in front of colleagues and especially in front of the boss.