27.07.2023

SUCCESS TECHNIQUES: BE MORE CONVINCING AND CHARISMATIC IN TWO STEPS

Some people just grab attention and subtly gain our trust. Their presence puts us at ease, and their charisma makes every word that comes out of their mouths sound believable and compelling. This is a skill that every business owner can benefit from, but the question is how do you acquire it? This kind of charm may seem like a magic trick, an inexplicable gift from the universe, or some genetic endowment. However, science shows something different.

While some of us find it easier to be charismatic, research shows that exceptional charisma is built on certain actions and techniques. Just as some people may be born with more musical talent than others, but anyone can learn to play an instrument, we can all learn how to be more charming.

There are a whole range of skills that can help you improve your charisma, from basic actions like smiling more often and showing interest in what others have to say, to mental tricks and manipulative maneuvers. But recently we came across a trick that is super simple and not widely known.

Confidence goes hand in hand with persuasiveness

The trick appeared in an episode of the Stanford Business School's Think Fast, Talk Smart podcast, featuring a lengthy discussion between Penn University Wharton Professor Jonah Berger and Stanford professor Matt Abrahams. Berger is the author of several bestselling business books on marketing and persuasion, and his appearance on the podcast is related to his latest book, Magic Words.

As the title suggests, the book focuses on how subtle changes in language can have a big impact on people's behavior. Sounds like a great read for anyone involved in sales or persuasion. In the podcast, Berger presents listeners with some of the insights from the book. Among them is one of the simplest tips on how to appear more confident and convincing.

The people we find most fascinating, Berger notes, share one basic characteristic. "Whether it's gurus, startup founders, or leaders who are often thought of as charismatic, there's often something that connects them -- they speak with great confidence," he explains.

“There are, of course, situations where leaders really need to express doubt and uncertainty. But in general, "XYZ is the best solution" is more persuasive than "I think XYZ might be the best way," Berger adds.

"Is" is more convincing than "was"

Berger also suggests a more subtle change to make your words more persuasive—use the present tense.

"Often when we talk about something, we use the past tense: 'That restaurant had good food,' or 'The applicant's resume looked impressive,'" says Berger.

Using the past tense comes naturally to many of us, but it also makes you less persuasive, he insists.

"Their resume was impressive" implies that when you saw it last week you rated it impressive, but it doesn't mean you still find it impressive. However, when I say, "This resume is impressive," I'm saying that this thing has been true not just in the past, but forever. The very willingness of a person to make such a claim makes people think that he is much more convinced of it. As a result, they begin to believe it themselves," explains Berger.

If Berger is right, then making this simple change in time is well worth the effort. Simply replacing the past tense with the present is a magic trick that instantly makes you more charming and persuasive.