25.05.2023

THIS IS UNPLEASANT!

Every workplace is filled with interesting individuals - including disappointing ones. If you feel like you are surrounded by hard-to-communicate people at the office, rest assured that you are not alone in this situation. Studies show that one in eight people leave a job because of problems with colleagues.

Colleagues who like to gossip can be the most problematic of all. Not only are they distracting, but they can have a detrimental effect on your professional reputation.

There is a psychological phenomenon that whenever you are involved in workplace gossip, people begin to perceive you as a gossip and may stop believing the things you say.

In a professional setting, there's really no excuse for bad mouthing, whether it's your client, colleague, or executive. Here are some ideas on how to deal with gossip at work.

Empathy and redirection

Gossip is a compensatory strategy often used to cover up low self-esteem or feelings of powerlessness. It's likely that your co-worker is communicating this way, albeit passive aggressively and manipulatively, in search of a relationship. There's a simple formula you can use to distance yourself from him while keeping the relationship intact: empathize and redirect.

First, empathize. Reflect on your colleague's reaction, addressing the deeper, human need. Perhaps the real reason he gossips is because he wants to feel heard and understood.

Then use a redirect. You can nudge the person toward a decision by saying something like, “Ugh, it sucks to feel so undervalued. You need to speak directly to your boss about this." Or encourage them to focus on the things that are working by saying, “I understand that the situation is still bothering you. This is unpleasant. For now, let's talk about how things are going with the new project you're working on."

Be confident

Many people, especially those who are kind and compassionate, never learn how to set limits on gossip. They play the role of "good listener" but inadvertently get themselves into drama. If this sounds familiar, it's important to learn how to set boundaries with passive-aggressive gossipers and develop more assertiveness skills so you can apologize when you hear gossip about a co-worker.

Be the change

Instead of dwelling on the negatives of your conversations, focus on the positive gossip. Learn to say nice things about people, acknowledge their good qualities and applaud their efforts. Celebrate their successes. So you will find that the good vibes come back to you.