23.05.2023

EXPERIENCING GUILT? USE IT!

Most likely, there have been moments in your work where you felt bad about something. Maybe you told a co-worker that he did amazing in the last presentation, even though he didn't do particularly well, and later felt bad that you didn't give him more realistic feedback. Maybe you missed a deadline on an important project and made a colleague's job difficult, then felt bad for the next few days until you finished your work.

In other words, you knew what you were doing was wrong, but you carried on anyway, and now you feel bad. The feeling of shame is a close cousin of shame, but it is directed towards the external environment. Usually, a person feels shame when they have done something wrong and others have found out about it (or are afraid that they will).

Feelings related to human emotions have two dimensions - direction and strength. The direction determines whether the emotion is positive or negative, and the force is responsible for the energy behind the emotion. Feelings of guilt and shame are highly negative emotions.

This is important because the strong energy behind these emotions is a powerful psychological force. A person experiences strong emotions when he is motivationally engaged with something strongly negative or strongly positive. In the case of feeling bad, you are disappointed that you didn't do what you should have done. This is where the benefit of guilt lies - as long as you use it in the right way.

The potential power of guilt…

As we have already said, behind every emotion there is a strong energy (especially behind negative emotions). In most cases, people use the energy of guilt in a wrong way. You walk around the office, try to forget about the incident by watching some funny youtube videos, or indulge in deep thoughts about where exactly you went wrong and what you could have done better.

In other cases, you may focus your energy on things that do nothing to improve the situation. In our work, we have seen people create elaborate schemes to cover up their mistake when a simple apology could have solved their problem.

...and turning it into a productive force

In either case, you are not using the energy generated by guilt in a productive way. When you feel bad about your mistake or decision at work, there are two things you should do.

First of all, you need to eliminate the source of the guilt as quickly as possible to avoid diverting energy to thoughts about it. If you are late with a report that a colleague needs, finish it as quickly as possible and give it to them. If you've made a mistake, find a way to apologize to those affected by it. There is no problem at work that you can solve by ignoring it and hoping it will go away on its own.

Second, you need to harness the energy coming from the guilt into the next task you tackle. If you're feeling down about something that happened at work, but you're at home right now, you might be using the energy you've got to do something you've been putting off, like cleaning your room or going to pay your bills for the month.

On the other hand, if you are overcome with guilt while in the office, your job is to impress the people who think they might be affected by your mistake. Turn your sense of nastiness into a strength that strengthens your relationships with your colleagues.

Over time, you will learn to recognize the mistakes, actions, and decisions in your work that have a real impact on others. Everyone has responsibilities in their job, many of which come with deadlines. Early in your career, you may find it difficult to distinguish the priority tasks that must be completed on time from the rest. As a result, you may feel bad about anything that isn't completed perfectly and within the deadline.

Talk to your colleagues and supervisors about the different tasks you need to complete to find out which ones you need to prioritize. These conversations will help you separate the things that are worth feeling bad about from the things that don't really matter. This way, you will minimize the guilt you feel while working. If there does come a time when you feel bad about something, you already know how to use your guilt in a productive way.